When your single year after year it can really feel like a curse. It’s hard when you feel unloved by another human being with that deep love that comes from a spouse and children of your own. You see others getting married and starting families and you can’t help but wonder when it’s going to be your turn… you wonder if something is wrong with you and why no one has picked you.
Truth is being single and having no kids is a blessing. Not just in your 20’s but throughout your life. As you grow older you learn more about yourself and what you like and enjoy doing and you have the time and resources to do them.
Yes, getting married and having kids is a blessing, but it’s not the only blessing that life has to offer. Single people are just as blessed, but in a different way.
Here are 7 reasons why being single with no kids is actually a blessing.
Check out these quizzes and articles you might like!
7 Reasons Why Being Single Hurts So Much
Quiz: Why Are You Still Single?
1. You can spend your money how you want
When you have kids your money has to go to things for your family first. You have to feed them, buy them clothes as they grow, buy cars that fit your families needs and take vacations that are kid friendly.
Even if you are just married you have to consider your spouse in all your major financial decisions and even some of the small ones. You can’t just buy the car, couch or computer you want, you have to check with your spouse to make sure it’s within your budget and that you agree on it. And if they don’t agree with you, then you have to come together and compromise.
When you’re single and have no kids it’s your money and get to do what you want with it because you are the only one you have to think about. Yeah you have bills and responsibilities, but they are your bills, not the bills of a whole family you are responsible for.
Sure, make wise choices, but if you really love a particular couch, no one is going to tell you no. If you really want a particular car, as long as you can afford it, you can get it. If you want to go on vacation you can just pack your bag and go.
2. You decide how to use your time
Time is the most valuable thing we have and the one thing we can’t get back or get more of. When you’re single you get to decide how you want to spend your time and you’re able to do more of what you want when you want.
If you want to sit in a bubble bath for an hour, go for it. If you want to take a day trip, do it. If you want to sit and watch movies all evening after work, cool. If you want to go out with friends, go. You get to choose how and who you spend your time with.
When you have a family your time is no longer just your own. You might have to run errands, take kids to practice, cook dinner, do laundry, go to school events, go to family outings, buy presents for birthday parties and much more. There is so much you have to do when you have kids or are married and your time is no longer your own. Many people who are married with kids barely have time to watch a favorite T.V. show uninterrupted or sometimes even go the bathroom in peace.
3. Going places is much easier
When you have kids, you can’t just go out when you feel like it. Even going to the grocery store can be a hassle. When you’re single you just grab your purse or wallet and go. When you have kids you have to pack a whole travel bag with toys, bottles, snacks and more. If you’re married you might have to help your spouse remember to bring things they tend to forget.
Not to mention you have to go to family friendly places when you have kids. Going to certain restaurants or even certain friend’s houses can be out of the question. Places like parks will probably be a much better bet.
And even with a spouse you have to be in agreement with where to go. Sure you can go alone and each of you can do your own thing, but if you want to spend time together you have to agree on where to go. Especially when it comes to vacations, outings or shopping. You can’t just plan to do what you want to do, you have to consider their needs and wants as well.
When you’re single you just go where you want. If you want to go shopping you go to your favorite stores. If you feel like going to hang out with your friends, you just go. If you want to take a weekend trip to Vegas, go for it! You just decide where and when you want to go and you don’t have to consider the needs and wants of other people.
4. Eat what you want when you want
When its just you, you can eat whatever you want when you want. If you feel like treating yourself to a special dinner after work, you just stop and get whatever you want. If you feel like cooking, you can make whatever you want. If you don’t feel like cooking you can just order delivery or even just have cereal. No one is going to complain or bother you about your food choices.
When you have kids, whatever they see you eating they will probably want some too which makes special (aka expensive) meals a little more difficult sometimes. A meal that would cost just you $15 will cost a family of 4 $60. That’s not always worth it or affordable. Plus, if you want a particular meal but your kids won’t eat it, chances are you are going to have to go somewhere or cook something that they will eat.
Same goes for your spouse. Many couples eat together for most meals, so you have to consider what your spouse wants to eat and when they want to eat. If you like having dinner at 5 but they aren’t usually hungry until 7, then either one person gets cold food or the other person has to wait.
Also if you are trying to eat healthy or on a special meal plan, it can become challenging if your family doesn’t eat the same way you do. If you have to eat chicken and veggies for dinner but your family is all eating burgers and fries, it can be hard to resist the temptation.
5. Less worries
Having a family is a blessing and can add lots of love to your life, but it also can add worry and drama to your life as well.
Kids are great, but you are literally responsible for another human life. That’s a lot of pressure. If they get sick you have to care for them. If they do something wrong you have to teach them. You have to be responsible for their life and still find a way to prioritize yourself as well.
Spouses are great, but you don’t just marry them, you basically marry their whole family. When it comes to holidays you have to decide where to go and who to spend time with. When there are family events you have to go even when you don’t want to.
On top of that, their problems become your problems. If they have money problems, you have money problems. If they have family drama, you have family drama. When you get married, two become one so you have to support one another in the good and the bad, there is no picking and choosing.
When you’re single all you have to worry about is yourself. We all have problems and yes, its great to be supported through them, but it can also be difficult when you have your own problems to deal with and also someone else’s problems to deal with as well.
6. You can talk to and spend time with anyone you want
When you’re single and don’t have kids, you are free to talk to anyone you want. If you want to be friends with other single people of the opposite sex, no one is going to stop you. You can talk and flirt with whoever you want as long as both people are in agreement. You can hang out with who ever you like, male or female.
When you’re married, obviously this changes the dynamic. Sure you can still have friends of the opposite sex but it can be inappropriate to hang out with them one on one sometimes. Each situation and friendship is different but how would you feel if your spouse was hanging out a lot with someone of the opposite sex? And sadly, it does open the door to temptation many times. Even if your spouse is not attracted to them, that doesn’t mean the other person isn’t attracted to your spouse.
It can get even more complicated when you have kids. If you aren’t married and have kids you have to be cautious when dating and consider your children. You can’t really just bring a new person into their life without careful consideration.
If you are married and have kids, there is a lot more you have to consider. You have to consider if the people you want to hang out with are good for your family. You probably can’t spend as much time with the friends you used to go clubbing and drinking with. If you have friends who don’t have kids it can be difficult to really connect and spend time with them as you’ll have to be keeping an eye on your kids and they may not really understand as much as another parent might. Or if you friends kids and your kids don’t get along that will cause a challenge too.
7. You have to consider your habits and lifestyle more
When it’s just you, of course you still have to be mindful of your habits for your own health and well being, but it’s a lot easier to just change things up and try new methods. And if you slip up the only person who has to know is you (and God of course).
This is especially apparent when you have kids. If you are trying to stop cussing and you slip up, there is a good chance your kids will pick up on those words. If you are trying to eat healthy, it can be hard when your kids only want chicken nuggets and mac and cheese.
Even with a spouse it can be challenging. If your spouse likes a clean house and you don’t really care as much, in order to keep the peace you’re probably going to have to make more of an effort to clean. Sure it can be helpful for your growth when you have a partner who is holding you accountable and helping you grow, but it can also be a pain sometimes.
There are lots of little things that you don’t really have to think much about when you’re single, you just do what’s best for you. If you need to eat healthy, you cook whatever meal is best for you. If you don’t feel like doing the dishes afterwards, you don’t have to. If you slip and cuss or fall into bad habits once in a while, yes hold yourself accountable, but you don’t have someone else bugging you about it and making you feel bad about it. The only person you have to be accountable to is yourself and God, and that sometimes is more than enough, depending on where you are in life.