10 Reasons Why a Guy Might Not Pursue You Even if He Likes You

10 Reasons Why a Guy Might Not Pursue You Even if He Likes You

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One of the greatest frustrations about being a woman is knowing a guy likes you and wanting him to pursue you, but he doesn’t. It makes you question if he actually does like you or if you are just misreading the signals.

Feel free to check out this article:7 Ways to Tell if Your Crush Likes You Back
or one of these quizzes: Quiz: Do They Like You as a Friend or More? or
Quiz: Do They Like You? if you aren’t sure if he likes you.

But, if you are pretty sure he likes you but hasn’t done anything about it, here are 10 possible reasons why that is.

1. He’s taken
This is the most obvious reason and I hope this is not the reason you are reading this article. If a man is taken then you need to leave him alone. Even if he tells you he’s not happy in his current relationship and shares all his problems with you, that does not mean he wants to be with you.

Sometimes guys look to other girls for advice, which is not the smartest thing to do many times. It can make you feel like he likes you, especially if he says things like “I wish she was more like you.”

If he’s taken back off. And even if he does break up with his current partner, you’ll still need to give him time to heal. You can be his friend, but make sure your motives are pure.

2. He’s just not that interested
This is one of the hardest ones to swallow, but sometimes when a guy doesn’t purse it’s simply because he isn’t that interested in you. It hurts, but don’t take it personally. There can be tons of reasons for this… he might think you’re pretty but just not his type, he might not feel that you aren’t compatible long term or he might like someone else.

Truth is, you can spend all day trying to figure out why he’s just not that interested, but you really don’t need to know and there is a good chance you’ll never know. Allow yourself the peace you deserve by not worrying about it.

3. He’s not ready
This is typical of younger men, usually 30 or younger. It can vary of course, age is just a number, but sometimes younger guys just aren’t ready to settle down. They might want to date around a bit, they may be focused on their career or they might just want to hang out with the boys.

If a man tells you he’s not ready, believe him. Don’t try to help him along or wait for him to be ready, it’s up to him to figure that out.

4. He’s broke
This can be a big one for men, how is he going to take you out on a date when he can’t even afford to pay for it? It might not make much sense to women, but many men would prefer to wait until they can afford a nice date instead of taking you out somewhere cheap, especially if they like you. Men feel the need to be providers and if he can’t do that for you he might not want to get serious until he feels he can do so.

He may need time to establish himself in his career, save up money, pay off debts or basically just be financially stable before he’ll be ready to get serious with someone. And sure, you can offer to pay for dates, but you offering to pay all the time might make him feel like less of a man.

5. He’s busy
There are some people who believe that you’re never too busy for someone you really care about. There is some truth in that but at the same time, if you work all the time, are in school, have family issues, volunteer and still want to hang out with friends, there isn’t really much time for dating.

Even if a guy really likes you, he just might not have the time to dedicate to dating. He might fear that if he starts something with you he won’t be able to give you more than a little bit of time. And he’s probably tired a lot.

If he tells you he’s busy, yes it can be an excuse, but it may also be the truth. If he truly does have a lot going on, and he tells you what it is, chances are he’s telling you the truth. If he just says I’m busy, but doesn’t explain, then it might be time to move on.

6. You work, go to school or church together
If you see this person on a regular basis it can be tricky to date. There is always that worry of what if things don’t work out and also there can be gossip that floats around too. If he likes you, but isn’t sure how much yet, then he might not be sure if it’s worth it. Especially if it’s a place he knows he’s going to be for a long time and so will you.

Usually it’s best to just get to know each since you get to spend time together anyway. Many people meet their spouses this way so there is hope depending on the situation. The best part about this is you get to see them interact with different people and in different situations so you can see them for who they really are before you date them.

7. You’re friends
If you’ve been friends for a while or hang out in the same circles, it can be tricky to start dating. Chances are he doesn’t want to ruin your friendship if things don’t work out. Also, many times once you date one person within a friend circle, it closes you off to date anyone else. It’s that unwritten rule of you don’t date your friend’s ex so if he dates you but then decides he really likes your friend, he’s kind of messed it up for himself.

Many of the best relationships start off as friendships but those same relationships usually take more time to grow. Enjoy spending time with each other without all the pressure of dating and allow for things to happen naturally.

8. He’s not sure how
Many men grew up without fathers or good male role models. They had strong mothers who were very independent and did everything for themselves. Some guys might not know what it means to pursue a woman. He may think that he is pursing by flirting with her or responding to her texts, but she might be stuck wondering why he isn’t doing more?

This can be a hard one to do, but if he’s giving you just the bare minimum or expecting you to put in more effort than he is, then you need to pull back a bit. Stop texting him first, stop asking him to spend time together, stop going to see him and allow him to lead. It’s hard because he might not do it or it might take a lot of time, but if he really likes you, he’ll figure it out.

9. He is, but very slowly
Similar to number 8, he might be pursuing you but just not in the way you want or expect. In this case he may be doing so very slowly. This can be frustrating because it feels like he gives you just a little bit at a time making you wonder how he really feels about you. We are so used to getting everything right away in today’s world. Not to mention we hear stories of our grandparents or people hundreds of years ago who would find a girl they liked and then marry her right away.

The trick here is not to rush things but enjoy them. If he is putting in effort, give him praise, thanks or reciprocate his efforts. Let him know when he does something you like and chances are he’ll do it more often. Thank him when he does something for you, let him know you noticed. He may be shy or just a the type of guy who takes his time with important things. If that is him, chances are when and if he does commit, he’ll be more likely to stick around.

10. He’s waiting for the right moment
All men are different and some of them want things to be perfect before they make a big gesture. He might feel like you’re worth more than just a text saying “Wanna go out?” He may end up building up so much pressure in his head on how do it right that he ends up not doing anything at all.

It can be hard to know if he’s waiting for the right moment because sometimes that right moment will never come. The best thing to do in this situation is to continue to live your life and allow yourself to be open to possibilities, even if that happens to not be with him.

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2 Replies to “10 Reasons Why a Guy Might Not Pursue You Even if He Likes You

  1. You missed one. Some guys just need to know that the feeling is mutual. They need to be both the pursued and the pursuer

  2. Awe it all sucks, the one I cared about & liked so much was just ass clueless & only liked skinny ass witches.

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