The holiday season is supposed to be full of fun, family, friends and food. However, not everyone has someone to spend the holidays with. Many people, especially this year, are spending the holidays alone.
Holidays can be tough no matter what your current situation is and being alone can make it feel that much harder.
Just because you’re spending the holiday season alone doesn’t mean you can’t still enjoy it! Here are 10 things that you can do that will hopefully brighten up your holiday season.
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1. Allow yourself to feel what you are feeling
Being alone during the holidays can cause you to feel many different emotions. You might feel a bit depressed and think that no one loves you; you may be grieving the loss of a loved one; you might feel angry if you recently got in a fight with your family; the list of possible emotions is endless.
It might not make sense at first and it won’t feel good, but allow yourself to feel the pain and hurt. Acknowledge how you feel and why you feel that way. By doing so, it allows you to move through it and eventually move on. If you never deal with your feelings, they are always going to be there in some degree. It’s all part of the healing process.
One big temptation this time of year is to self medicate yourself with alcohol, weed, food, etc. to cover up the pain and how you are really feeling. All this does is prolong the healing season and usually makes you feel worse long term.
2. Try not to wallow in your feelings
It’s good and necessary to allow yourself to feel your emotions, but just make sure you don’t stay there too long. It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to scream. What’s not okay is to allow yourself constantly stay in a state of feeling negative emotions.
Everyone’s situation is different and healing takes different amounts of time for each person. Someone who who can’t see their family this year due to not having enough money is going to take a much different amount of time to heal than a person who can’t see their family because they passed away. There is no time limit on how long you are allowed to feel sad or grieve, it’s different for everyone.
There will come a time when you have no more tears left. There will come a time when you just don’t feel it as intensely as before. That’s when you can take a small step forward by picking yourself up and allowing yourself to feel some positive emotions.
Just like it’s okay to cry and scream, it’s okay to laugh and smile. Sometimes we feel like we shouldn’t due to what’s happened, but remember that no matter what happened you are still here now. You are still breathing and there is still hope and a future for you. It might not feel like it, but there is and you will discover it one small step at a time.
3. Do something special
You don’t have to have a traditional holiday, you can always choose to do something special instead. You can travel, volunteer, go to a day spa, get a puppy, the options are endless!
Basically doing something that is not typical and feels special will help you to enjoy yourself. Just because you aren’t eating a big meal with tons of people doesn’t mean you can’t have fun. Heck, sometimes it’s actually more fun to do things on your own!
Some other things to do that will make this season feel special is to treat yourself a bit! Eat a delicious meal, buy yourself presents and spend your day off however you want. One of the best things about being alone is you can do everything just the way you want to. You can have your food exactly the way you like and when you buy your own presents, you always get exactly what you want!
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4. Get of out of the house
One of the worst things you can do that will make you feel even more depressed and lonely is to stay cooped up inside the house. Get out and enjoy life!
Spend some time outdoors by taking a walk, going to a park or going on a hike. Go for a drive to a new city. Go shopping. Volunteer. Anything that will get you out of the house for a bit will be helpful. Plus you never know who you might run into while you are out and about!
5. Get out of your head
One of the dangers of being alone during the holidays is all the thoughts we get swirling around in our heads. Those thoughts can intensify if you are feeling down or seeing lots of people around you who are celebrating and seem so happy while you are all alone.
In order to overcome this, first realize that these negative thoughts are going to come but they don’t have to stay. Acknowledge them and then move on. Easier said than done, I know.
Some helpful ways to to do this are to do mindful activities like reading, painting, writing, exercise, playing an instrument, etc. Something that will challenge your mind but yet is still fun and maybe even relaxing.
Quiz: What Activity Should You Try?
6. Reach out to people
Just because you are alone during the holidays doesn’t mean that you can’t still stay connected with people and loved ones. Pick up the phone and send a quick text or call a friend or family member.
Think outside the box…. Call the people you love of course, but think about maybe calling someone who you haven’t talked to in a while. Reach out to an old friend, an older relative, a co-worker or your neighbor. Try to think of someone who might also be spending the holidays alone and reach out to them.
And if you do get an invitation from someone, accept! Don’t feel like they are only doing it out of pity for you, chances are if you end up going you’ll have a good time and maybe even make some new friends.
7. Seek community
Having a community of people in your life is so powerful and can give you a sense of belonging, love and friendship. One of the best places to find community is your local church. There are always opportunities to serve and get connected within the church and there is always someone who will welcome you with open arms.
If church isn’t your thing, try a Meetup group, join a club or an organization. A good rule of thumb is to find something you like to do and then find people who are doing it.
Also community is the people around you. When you’re at the grocery store start up a conversation with the cashier. If you’re stuck in a long line, smile and say hi to the person behind you. When you see your neighbors, stop and introduce yourself. Community is all around us, sometimes we just have to seek it out.
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8. Give back
The holidays are a great time to spend some time giving back. You can do so by volunteering, donating money, providing food to those who need it or simply giving your time.
When you give back it makes such a difference not only to the people you helped but also within yourself. There are so many things that can happen; your perspective can be changed by seeing someone less fortunate, you might get a warm fuzzy feeling inside or you might just have a reason to get out of the house.
The point of course isn’t to get anything, it’s to give, but it’s crazy how much you actually end up getting when you give.
9. Stay off social media
One way to make yourself feel instantly depressed is by going on social media and seeing all the pictures of people cooking food, laughing with family and having a great time with friends. Chances are you’ll see something that will hurt you. You might see a picture of a group of friends who didn’t invite you over. You may see that your family seems happier without you being there. Or you might just feel overloaded by everyone who just seems so happy while you feel so lonely.
Remember, people typically aren’t trying to make you feel bad when they post something, most of the things you’ll feel will be unintentional. Sometimes it’s just best to stay offline.
10. Give Thanks
Sounds cliché but it truly does work.
Giving thanks is great way to remember all the blessings in your life. Each one of us has something to be thankful for, even when it doesn’t really seem like it.
Being thankful also helps to get rid of some of those negative emotions you may be feeling. It’s really hard to feel joyful and angry at the same time. Being grateful helps you focus on things that are positive and that usually helps you to feel better.
Take a few moments and make a list of all the things you are grateful for. Spend some time thanking God for all He has done in your life. Call someone who has been there for you and let them know how much that means to do.
When you focus on the good in your life you start to see more of the good in your life. And even if you are alone, you start to realize, there is still a lot of blessings to be found in that as well.
That was so good. Even when I am surrounded by people, I can sometimes feel alone. All your tips were great ways of looking at why I feel this way, and why I don’t have to. It is a choice. Very helpful 👌
Thank you!