Share the Love!

Everyone needs alone time but sometimes too much of it isn’t a good thing. Whether you think you do or not, everyone needs community and someone to love them. It’s not good for us to live life alone. Having alone time and time for yourself is a very good thing, but too much of it can start to make you feel depressed and unconnected.

Here are 10 signs that you might be spending too much time alone.

1. You feel socially awkward
Some people are just naturally socially awkward, but many others have become this ways due to lack of social interaction. If you spend most of your time alone, you kinda forget how to act when you are around people. Someone will ask you a question and you might not respond in the way you’d like. Someone might invite you out and it could cause you anxiety instead of excitement. You might spend hours overthinking things and you won’t even have a good time and fun if you do go out.

2. You can count the number of friends you have on one hand
When I say friends, I’m not talking about true friends, the people you can really count on when things get tough. I’m just talking about general friends or people you know. Someone who you would say hi to if you saw them at the grocery store but not necessarily someone you would confide in.

Most people only have 2 or 3 really great and true friends, but it’s healthy to have multiple acquaintances or people you know. If you only can think of a few people who you would say hi to if you saw them out and about it might be time for you to get out a little bit more.

3. You’re having conversations with your pet
Talking to your dog, cat or fish is actually good for you and them, it helps you bond and connect. It can help you feel more relaxed. Your pet actually enjoys the sound of your voice.

Things might become concerning though if you start having actual conversations. I’m not talking about “Do you want a treat?” kind of conversations, I’m talking about asking your pet for advice or feeling like they are actually really talking back. Save these conversations for humans.

4. It feels like no one understands you
When you spend a lot of time alone, you get stuck in your own head. Then, when you try to express yourself to others, they might not really get what you’re saying because in your head it makes perfect sense but when you say it, that person might not get it right away.

Part of the reason for this is because you’ve spent so much time thinking about this thing that it already makes sense to you, but to the person who’s hearing it for the first time it might not connect right away because they haven’t given it as much thought as you have. Give them a chance and explain it to them instead of just feeling like no one understands you.

5. You are suffering from depression
This one is subjective because people can suffer from depression for many different reasons.

One of the biggest causes of depression and sadness is loneliness. When we are alone a lot and don’t feel loved or understood by others, it can cause depression. It might not even feel like it’s worth the effort to go out and meet people or hang out with people you already know because you feel like they don’t even like you or they don’t understand you.

One of the biggest keys to breaking sadness and depression is being around the right people for you. People who you trust, connect with and just enjoy being around. Once you find your people, your crew, things can change a lot. Find people who love, support and understand you. It makes a world of difference.

6. You are drinking or smoking weed too much
When you spend a lot of time alone in order to fill the void and take your mind off how you are feeling, many people turn to alcohol or weed. In some cases people will turn to hard drugs.

When you are alone you don’t always realize how much you are drinking or smoking. And one of the funny things about smoking and drinking too much because you are alone is it makes you want to be alone even more. You might turn down an invitation or leave an event early so that you can go home and have a drink or smoke. At the time it might seem harmless, but over time you start to feel the effects.

7. You’re bored
Being alone all the time gets boring. Some people thrive on solo activities but it’s actually really nice having someone to share what you did with. You can paint a picture on your own but if you don’t have anyone to show it to when you’re done, it can kinda take the fun out of it.

If you find yourself sitting around for extended periods of time trying to figure out something to do, then you might be spending too much time alone. One of the great things about having friends is you have someone to do things with and even if you do something as simple as watching TV it can make the experience better by just having someone to share it with.

8. You’re unmotivated
Getting up and going to work everyday when you’ve been spending too much time alone can feel more like a chore than anything else. Many times when you have kids or loved ones you have a reason for getting up and going to work. Sure, you’d prefer to stay home and spend time with them, but you also want to make money to support them. You want to do better in life so that they can have a better life.

Even if you don’t have a family it’s nice to have friends who you can talk about your achievements and celebrate your accomplishments with. You want to tell people when good things happen. If you spend too much time alone it can feel pointless. Why work so hard when you are the only person who cares?

9. You feel disconnected
Everyone around you might seem like they know things you don’t or they are going places and invited to things you aren’t. It might simply be because they were all somewhere and talked about an event and decided to go. Maybe if you were there with them, you would have been a part of it?

Feeling connected to others is easier said than done, and it’s funny how in our world of constant connection it’s so easy to feel disconnected. You see everyone having fun and enjoying life and feel like you just aren’t as good or aren’t a part of it. Sometimes you need to make a little extra effort to connect yourself to others by communicating more or going out with people more and it will help you to feel more connected.

10. You feel lonely
This might seem obvious, but when you are spending too much time alone, you will start to feel lonely. Being alone doesn’t always make you feel lonely, because they are different things. Alone time is a good thing but too much of it when it’s not wanted makes you feel lonely. Along with feeling lonely can come all these other negative and untrue thoughts.

If you’re feeling lonely because you are alone a lot of the time, it could be helpful to stop spending so much time alone. Sure, being lonely is a bit more complicated than just being around people, but it’s definitely a start. Spend time with people you like or confide in someone you trust. Start building bonds with people and they will turn into friendships and maybe even lifelong relationships.