Share the Love!

It’s debatable whether or not you should keep searching for love while you’re single or if you should just go on with your life and let love will find you. There are arguments for both sides and ultimately there may not be a right or wrong answer. The answer might be different for each person.

Sure, it would suck if you end up never married when you really wanted to, because you didn’t put in any effort into finding a relationship. So of course, you have to do some work towards finding one. They don’t usually just pop up out of thin air, you have to meet someone that you like and likes you back (easier said than done). And, sometimes you do everything you can to find a relationship, you go on dates, meet new people, dress up, go out, ask your friends to set you up, and try to make it work but it’s just not right. It’s easy to give up hope after a while.

But then again, it happens time and time again where people are just going on about their day to day life, doing their thing and they meet the love of their life. It sometimes happens if they didn’t even want a relationship and weren’t trying at all to find one in the first place!

Have you been looking for love? Here are 7 reasons why it might be a good time for you to stop.

1. You have the mindset of looking
Looking for love puts you in a mindset of looking and searching. If you are constantly keeping an eye out for someone to date when you go out to a bar, a club, or to the store, then you can’t always fully enjoy the experience. You’ll end up doing things that you wouldn’t normally do to attract someone. That can be good if you are stuck in a rut, but sometimes it can be too much.

And if you do find someone you like, a lot of times you can’t help but keep looking for someone better. You get stuck looking for love instead of actually enjoying the love around you.

2. You can come off as desperate
Sometimes you can just tell when someone is trying too hard. They overdo everything, they spend all their money and sometimes will even tell you that they will do anything to be with you. It can seem nice at first, but if their motivation is to just be in any relationship verses really wanting to be in a relationship with you, then you are probably just wasting your time.

3. You enjoy life more
People can spend hours on dating apps and social media, flirting and chatting with prospective love interest, most of which won’t end up going anywhere. That’s a lot of time spent trying to find love when it could have been spent doing many other things. The two hours before bed that you were messaging that cutie could have been spent reading a book or cleaning up your house.

Yes, there are ways to enjoy life and still put yourself out there. It’s very possible to get asked out while doing your daily activities. You can meet someone at the grocery store, gym, work, school, church or just hanging out new places. You will probably seem more approachable too if you are acting natural and just having fun.

Plus, if you are going out and doing things and enjoying life, maybe love will have a chance to find you?

4. You have more time for yourself
Looking for love does take a lot of time and effort. You have to go on dates, put yourself in situations where you can hopefully meet people, be dressed to impress, and you might feel you have to act a certain way around certain people.

Spending so much time thinking about other people doesn’t leave you much time for yourself. What are some things you want and need to do? What do you want to learn, do, see or experience? What do you like, do you know what you like?

If you just stop for a bit and actually do some things you want to do, you might actually end up being a better partner in the long run. You’ll know yourself better and in turn be able to take care of yourself better. Then when you do fall in love, you can communicate your needs and not be dependent on someone else to make sure they are met.

5. It can be lonely
It seems like the opposite would be true, but when you are looking for love, that means you don’t have it, right? Why else would you be looking for it? If you already had love you would have no reason to look.

If you don’t have love in your life, then it feels very lonely. Coming home to an empty house with no one to spend the important life events with can bring tears to your eyes and make it feel like there’s a hole in your heart. Add searching for love on top of that and it can be crushing, especially when you finally meet someone you are excited about, but it just doesn’t work out. Then you sometimes feel even worse than you did before

Next time when you are laying in bed at night thinking about how you want someone around and feeling bad about how lonely you are, maybe you should be thinking about other areas of your life that actually make you happy. Everyone gets lonely and trying to force people into your life isn’t going to make you feel less lonely.

6. You feel like something is missing
When you are looking for love it can feel like something is missing from your life because you don’t have love. But the truth is, nothing is missing from your life. You can have anything you want with or without a partner.

Want to go on a date? Take yourself out to anywhere you want and buy yourself whatever you want without having to compromise. Do you want to have kids? Adopt, foster or join a volunteer program. Saving to buy a house? Sure it might take a little bit longer but you can still do it and you won’t have to listen to someone else’s opinions on the layout or location. Feeling lonely at night? Well…. there are plenty of options…..

The truth is nothing is missing from your life if you don’t have a partner because if you have a good support system of friends and family, financial stability, sexual fulfillment, and a happy family, then is something actually missing? And if you feel like something is then is it something that you can only get from a romantic partner? Probably not.

7. You might actually FIND love
Instead of looking for love, maybe it’s time to find it? No matter what anyone says, no one actually has a secret formula to find love because it happens differently for everyone. If you spend your time finding love instead of looking for it, things might just change.

Find love with the people around you: your parents, kids, siblings, neighbors, coworkers, church members, old friends and even strangers can all be sources of love.

Find love in the things you do as well. As you go throughout your day, what do you love doing? Hopefully you love your job and your work. In your free time do you spend it doing things you love and enjoy or not? How can you add more activities that you love in to your daily life?

Do you surround yourself with things and people you love? Do you allow yourself to feel love and loved?

Love is all around us and you don’t have to have a romantic partner to be loved. Give love to everyone and everything around you and you will amazed at how much love you receive back. You won’t even have to go looking for it, good things will just happen. Soon you will have more love in your life than you know what to do with.