5 Ways to Be a Good Friend

Just a little bit of effort can go a long way

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When you’re a kid, being a good friend and having friends is one of the most important parts of life. As you get older, you get so caught up in your own life, that it’s easy to forget how to be a good friend to those around you. This applies to anyone you’re friends with; old school friends, co-workers, siblings, spouse or even your church or local community members. It can be hard to be a good friend sometimes but you would want someone to be a good friend to you, right?

All you really need is a handful of close, good friends but it never hurts to have a lot and be friendly with everyone. Here are 5 ways to be a good friend.

Check out these awesome quizzes! 

Quiz: What Type of Friend Are You?

Quiz: Are They a True Friend? 

1. Listen more
One of the easiest but also hardest things to do when it comes to being a good friend is listening. That doesn’t mean just letting someone vent about their day, but really listening to what they have to say and cultivating a thoughtful answer to it.

Don’t think about how you can relate to them or that time when something similar happened to you. No, that discredits the other person’s experience and makes them feel like you weren’t really listening. Of course you were listening because you heard them say they got into a fight with their husband again, but instead of saying, “Oh yeah, my husband was a jerk the other day too” really listen and ask thoughtful, open-ended questions. Even saying something as simple as, “Oh really? What happened?” will allow them to open up and talk while you are able to listen.

2. Offer to help
What is one of the best parts about having friends? Having someone to help you when you need it. Sure there are lots of other reasons too, but having friends to vent to, to help you move, babysit your kids, teach you how to cook, loan you that book you’ve been wanting to read and so much more is great. But remember, if these are the benefits of having friends then that means it goes both ways.

If your friend is struggling with a problem or if you just have something that will make their life a bit little better, offer to help them. Of course you don’t have to allow it to be detrimental to your life or let them take advantage of you, but offer them help that you are happy to give. If you give with a happy heart then everyone wins. If you offer to help when you don’t really want to, it will show and you probably should have just stayed quiet.

3.Be loyal
No one is perfect, everyone makes mistakes. You do, and so do your friends. When bad things or mistakes happen, a good friend won’t just leave you to suffer on your own. In fact, a good friend will be there for you more often because you need them more now than you did when things were going well.

Many people only want to be friends with someone if it benefits them. They think of what they have to gain and when the relationship stops being beneficial for them, they leave.

A true friend will stick with you through the good and the bad. They won’t stop hanging out with you because something bad happened and now you’re sad and broke all the time. A good friend will call you even more and make sure you are okay. They will invite you out and pay or they will be willing to do free activities. They won’t stop being your friend because circumstances change and then start again when you suddenly have something to offer them again.

4. Make an effort
You can’t really be friends if you don’t talk to each other or actually spend some time together once in a while. Spending time can happen in multiple ways, maybe over the phone, texting, Facetime, or in person. It doesn’t really matter how or what you do, the important thing is you are reaching out and make an effort to see and/or talk to them.

Some people don’t need to talk everyday to be friends, once a month or once a year might be good enough for them. Sometimes distance and money keep you apart, but it’s really the effort that matters.

If you don’t keep spending time together then you’ll drift apart. Sure you might see each other once in a while, but are you really still real friends at that point? Good friends reach out to each other and keep in touch. They ask about each other’s lives and make sure to call even if they are busy. Just a little bit of effort can go a long way.

5. Treat people the way you want to be treated
The golden rule right? When’s the last time you actually heard it? When’s the last time you actually did it?

Go back to your school days as a kid and think of the times when you were told to treat people the way you want to be treated. Remember how it made you considerate of other people? It also made you think of how you would want to be treated by others which actually is a good thing and can help you build confidence. You learn that your friends deserve good things and to be treated well, and so do you.

How do you want to be treated? When your co-worker makes a mistake, instead of talking about them behind their backs, why not help them next time? Maybe they don’t really know how to do it? If your sister needs someone to talk to then stop what you’re doing and listen, you’d want the same after a long day right? If your spouse came home cranky again not wanting to talk about it, maybe make them their favorite dinner and put on their favorite show?

Take a moment and think about how you would want to be treated when someone does something you might not like. Instead of getting upset, put yourself in their situation and be considerate of them. Treat them how you would like to be treated and hopefully if it happens to you, someone will treat you the way you treated them.

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