Sometimes really bad things happen…. people die, you lose your only source of income, your home gets broken into…. the reality is that bad things happen to everyone. Here are a few steps you can take to help you get back on track after a crisis.
Step 1 – Seek Help When Needed
There is nothing wrong with getting some help. Everyone needs someone. If you feel like you have no one to turn to there are lots of free hotlines you can call to talk to someone. They are trained, will listen to you and give you some resources to help you. If you can afford it, go see a therapist. There’s nothing wrong with that so don’t feel ashamed. It’s actually quite nice to have an entire hour to talk about yourself.
If you have friends or family members you can depend on, reach out to them and let them know what you are dealing with. Many people who care are more than happy to help you out. Don’t let pride get in the way of getting help when you need it.
Step 2 – Take Some Time For Yourself
This is especially important if the crisis you faced changed your life. You need some time to regroup and figure out what you are going to do and what changes need to be made. If you have the luxury of taking a few days or weeks to spend with yourself then do it. Read, journal, discover yourself again and figure out what you need now. If you don’t have a lot of time to spare that’s okay too, take ten minutes a day for yourself. Find a time of day when you are alone and can spend time with just you. Maybe early morning before everyone wakes up or late at night before going to bed. Maybe it’s a few minutes on your lunch break. Whatever works. Just take some time to figure out what has changed and if your needs have changed as well.
Step 3 – Go Easy on Yourself
You have been through a crisis. You have possibly experienced a trauma. Go easy on yourself. It’s okay if you burst into tears while grocery shopping. It’s okay if you pay a few bills late. It’s okay to call in to work for a personal day once in a while. It’s okay, you are human. Everyone makes mistakes and everyone goes through hard times. It may help to seek out others who have gone through similar situations. Even a book or movie on the topic may help. You can see how someone else dealt with a similar issue and maybe you’ll be able to get some helpful tips.
Step 4 – Stay Positive
Even though you may not feel very positive right now, just having a little bit of hope can make a big difference. Things will get better. You’ll get a new job. You’ll get married again. Time does NOT heal all but it does make things easier. It’s been almost 15 years since my mom died and almost 7 since my dad died. Yes, holidays are still hard. Yes, I regularly wish I could call them. Yes, I still cry over the fact that they are gone. However, I don’t cry everyday anymore. I am able to work a full time job and have a social life instead of isolating myself. I’ve made a lot of progress and I’ve changed a lot in the process but staying positive really made all the difference. Knowing that things can get better gives you the strength to keep going.