Have you been wondering if your relationship is right for you? Maybe at first things were great but then a few months or years in you are starting to have second thoughts….
Is this person really someone you could see yourself spending the rest of your life with? That’s a huge question and decision that will affect the rest of your life.
Many times, we wonder if there is someone who is better for us. This might be true, there might be someone who you are more attracted to or more compatible with.
But, even if there is someone who is “better” for us, we still have to be realistic when it comes to dating and marriage and look for certain things that actually make for a healthy, long-lasting relationship. Just because you don’t feel this person is “perfect” doesn’t mean they aren’t actually a good fit and a good partner for you.
Before making any big decision to end your current relationship, consider these 5 signs you shouldn’t give up on your relationship just yet.
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1. They are willing to work though issues
A huge green flag is someone who is willing to talk about and work though any issues you might have. If you are upset about something and they are willing to stop what they are doing and hear you out, that means that they care enough about you and the relationship to find solutions and even make sacrifices for you.
This is a great trait to have in a long-term partner. There are going to be many, many times you don’t agree on things throughout your relationship no matter how well you get along. There will be small things you don’t agree on like what color couch to buy or big things like how many kids to have, but if you can sit down and talk about why you may feel a certain way and they are willing to listen and find a solution, that is a sign of a keeper.
2. Where you are weak they are strong (and vice versa)
They say opposites attract and it’s for a good reason. Many times, there are some areas in our life that we just aren’t as good at and so it’s great to have a partner who is because it helps us grow and balances us out.
If you are a big spender but your partner prefers to save money, yes that can cause some issues when you want to use money in a different way, however, when it you think long term, you can both actually help each other grow and have more balance in your life. Your partner can help you to learn the value of saving money and help keep you from overspending while at the same time you can teach your partner that it’s okay to splurge a little and have some fun.
Of course, you don’t want someone who is the complete opposite as you. You still want to have similar values and some common interests, but it’s okay if you are not completely “compatible”. If you end up with someone who is exactly like you, that might even end up becoming boring. It’s nice to have someone who is a little different to keep things interesting for the long haul.
3. You have great conversations
Can you talk to your partner for hours about anything and everything? If so, that is a great sign that you guys can last in a relationship. It’s like when you talk to your best friend, you can spend hours on the phone with them without even realizing it. If you are able to do that with a partner that is a great sign of not only long-term potential of but of friendship as well.
Of course, not every single conversation is not going to be 3 hours long, some days one of you will be tired from work or preoccupied with an issue. Even a 20-minute conversation can be a great one though. The key is to recognize how well your conversations flow or if you have awkward silences.
If you have trouble coming up with topics to talk about or if you find yourselves just going through the daily routine of “how was your day”, spice things up a bit with some conversation cards for couples. These give you great ideas on things to discuss. There are lighthearted questions as well as deeper and more intimate questions. Some things are a little harder to talk about or to just bring up out of the blue, so cards like these are very helpful and will hopefully spark some great conversations.
I personally own this particular set, conversation cards for couples and I like it because there are four different categories of questions (Deep, Thoughtful, Light and Spicy) and there are close to 600 questions. It is small in size as well which makes it great for traveling or to take along on a date night.
4. You have fun together
In the beginning stages of dating things are usually a lot of fun. You’re just getting to know each other, you go on fun dates, you’re trying to show the best sides of yourself to impress them and there is just a lack of the pressure a serious relationship brings.
When you enter into a relationship with someone, there is suddenly a new level of pressure. You wonder if this person is a good match for you and you start to look more closely at their flaws. You might become jealous if they have friends of the opposite sex. You might get upset if they don’t call you after a night out. All of these things can kill the fun you used to have and make the relationship feel more like work.
If you can still continue to have fun with this person even after committing to them, that a great sign. In fact, you should actually have more fun with them as your relationship progresses. Of course, you will have serious issues you need to overcome or work through, but over time you should be able to laugh at inside jokes, plan dates you know the other person will love and just enjoy each other’s company while relaxing at home.
5. You trust them
Trust is extremely important in any relationship that you want to last. If you can’t trust that person, then how do you expect to make a life with them? You’re always going to be wondering what they are doing, who they are with and if they are hiding stuff from you. That’s no way to live.
If you know deep down that you trust this person with your whole heart, that is one of the most important things you can look for in a long-term relationship. Trust is the foundation of which your relationship should be built. If you don’t have that solid foundation, then it will be easy for your relationship to crumble even after years of being together. Without trust you will be causing yourself unnecessary stress and possibly even heartbreak.
Remember, trust takes time to build. You have to see a person in different situations and learn more about them over time. See how they act with their friends and family. See how they treat random strangers. See what they do if they have the opportunity to lie.
If the person you are with has proven to be consistent, if they do what they say they are going to do and if they are open and honest with you even with the bad things, then that is how trust is built and that is a great foundation to build your relationship on.
If you are seeing these 5 signs in your partner then maybe you should give your relationship a chance. Don’t give up on a partner who truly loves and cares about you unless you know for certain that it just won’t work.
If you are still questioning your relationship, check out one of these quizzes.
Are You in a Healthy Relationship?
Is It Time to Let Go of Your Relationship?
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