Getting over a crush is weird. It’s not like getting over an ex where you had actual history. Getting over a crush is getting over something that never actually happened. It’s getting over what you had hoped would happen but never did.
It can be hard to let go, sometimes we still hold on to the hope that maybe one day…. sure it could happen, but that day may never come and chances are it’s best to move on from what never was. Holding on to a crush can actually hold you back from moving on to a new relationship if you are constantly trying to keep yourself available for that person “just in case”.
Here are 7 things you can do to help you get over your crush.
Also check out 12 Ways to Tell That it’s Time to Stop Crushing on Your Crush
Take this Quiz: Is Your Crush Worth Your Time?
1. Disconnect from them
How connected are you to your crush? Are you texting them and calling them a lot? Do you have them on your social media?
It can be hard to forget about a crush when they are posting all the time or you see them when they pop up online. Or when you look at your phone and see a text from them. Interacting with someone you like tends to excite us and make us feel butterflies inside. But these are not feelings you want to keep having on a regular basis for someone you are trying to over.
Stop texting and calling them as much. Also lower your interactions on social media. You don’t have to unfriend them, but you can unfollow them, at least for a while. Don’t worry, they won’t know. Just choose not to see their post for a while. You will also have to exercise self control with this one because you may be tempted to go on their page. Do yourself a favor and just leave it alone for a while.
After some time has passed and you can always refollow them, but give yourself some time to disconnect.
2. Spend less time with them
This can be difficult if your crush is someone you see on a regular basis. Maybe you are neighbors or work with with them. It might be tricky but, you can take steps to slowly spend less time with them.
Don’t start conversation as often, only talk about work or school related things. Don’t go out of your way to see them. Don’t offer to help them with projects.
Still be polite and friendly, there’s no need to be rude. Just don’t put in extra effort like you probably did before when you wanted them to like you.
3. Treat them how you treat everyone else
When you have a crush on someone you tend to give them special treatment. You might go out of your way to give them things or do something to help them out. You probably try to talk to them a little bit more than other people.
Notice how you treat someone else of the opposite sex that you don’t have feelings for. Now do your best to treat them the same. You probably keep your conversations short, maybe say hi and give a hug if that’s your thing. But that’s pretty much it. Don’t try to impress them or try to get them to like you, just say hi, maybe make some small talk and move on.
4. Be realistic about them
When we are crushing on someone they seem like the perfect person. Everything they do seems to be awesome and we even tend to justify when they do something that isn’t so great. If they do something they shouldn’t have done, we can find a reason like “they were just going through a hard time”.
We also tend to overlook the bad or the not so good qualities they have. Maybe they aren’t actually all that funny? Or maybe they don’t have a stable job? They might not even be all that nice of a person. When we like someone all their qualities seem to be better than they really are. When we take a step back and look at them from a different perspective, we might realize that they aren’t as great as we thought they were.
5. Find a new crush
Sometimes one of the best ways to move on is to realize that there are plenty of people out there. Chances are there is someone who is actually better for you than they were. Sure, they might have seemed great and seemed to be everything you wanted, but there are millions of people in the world, there is definitely someone out there that can make you happy.
Give yourself time to grieve if you need to and don’t jump into anything right away, but start to be open minded to other possibilities. You never know who you might end up liking. And maybe they will even like you back!