12 Ways to Tell That it’s Time to Stop Crushing on Your Crush

No matter what age you are or even relationship status you are in, everyone has crushes. Some are innocent and never acted upon. Others can consume our lives and leave us crushed.

Here are 12 ways to tell if it’s time to give up this crush and move on to better things.

You might also like this quiz “Is Your Crush Worth Your Time?”

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1. They are in a relationship

If they are married or in a serious relationship, then right away you should back off. Even if they tell you they aren’t happy in their relationship, that is a major red flag. Even if they do end up leaving their current relationship for you, would you be able to completely trust that they don’t do the same to you later on down the road?

If they are just casually dating and still consider themselves single when asked, then you could still have a chance with them and it might be a good idea to keep your crush.

2. You are in a relationship

If you are in a relationship and find yourself crushing on someone, one of the first questions you should ask yourself is why. If they are a celebrity, eh, everyone has celebrity crushes. Healthy couples can sometimes even talk about their celebrity crushes.

However, if this is a real person in your life then you need to ask yourself if there is something that you aren’t getting from your current relationship that you feel this other person could give you. It may be a good idea to talk to your partner and let them know that you feel you are lacking in a certain area and see if they are willing to do something about it or support you.

If you are constantly having eyes for others, just aren’t happy in your relationship and you’ve already tried to work things out, then it might be time to move on, depending on your level of commitment to each other.

3. Your crush is consuming your thoughts

It’s fun to fantasize about how great life would be with this special person. You play out all these scenarios in your head and might even have dreams about them. There is nothing wrong with doing this once in a while but, if you find yourself constantly thinking about them then you might want to take a step back.

Some signs you are thinking about them too much are: you constantly stalk their social media accounts and go back through their post, you go online just to see if they are online, you find out their birthday and read their horoscope on a regular basis, you try to figure out what their favorite things are and suddenly like those things too, you over analyze everything they say or do to you (or don’t say or do) and you can’t sleep at night because you are thinking too much about whether they like you or not.

It won’t be easy but you need to replace thoughts of them with thoughts of something, or maybe someone else. Try to focus more on your career, hobbies and friends, things that are happening in the present moment verses what you hope will happen in the future.

4. You tried pursuing them or expressed interest and it wasn’t reciprocated

If you have asked them out on a date and they said no, then good for you for trying and it sounds like they have made it clear they aren’t interested. You can try to wear them down, but do you really want to go out with someone you have to convince to give you a chance?

If you flirt with them and they don’t flirt back then it might be time to move on. Don’t keep trying if they are only giving you one word answers, their body language is closed off, they gradually move away from you or they keep playing with their phone while you are talking to them. If you keep flirting with them and they aren’t interested, there is a chance that it will make them uncomfortable and no one wants that.

5. The crush is inappropriate

Are you crushing on someone you shouldn’t be? Even if you are both single, is this person your boss? Maybe you are their boss? Is this person way older or way younger than you? Or does this person have bad habits that could be harmful to you in the long term?

You have to think about yourself and your crushes long term potential. If dating them would potentially mess up your career, it’s not worth it. If they are always flirting and dating everyone, do you really want to set yourself up to get hurt? If they are a drunk how long will it be before you start drinking a lot too or they end up doing something they didn’t mean to do because they were drunk?

Don’t put yourself in a situation you’ll regret later.

6. You are full of hope that they like you one day and then crushed by them the next

This is a cycle that can become harmful after time. At first, it’s great when you lock eyes and smile at each other. They flirt with you and you flirt back. It’s seems like you are connecting. Then the next time you see them they barely say hi. What’s going on?

The same happens with texting all the time too. You’ll send a text or they’ll text you and after a few back and forth messages, they disappear! You are stuck asking yourself what happened, everything seemed to be going so well! Or even worse, they don’t respond to your messages for days, or at all.

This will become a cycle of pain and heartbreak for you. The hard truth is probably that they do like you, just not that much. Save your love for someone who will give you back as much as you give.

7. You’ve had this crush for a really long time

Sometimes it’s okay to have a long term crush. Like if you were in high school together but then went your separate ways; and now you are both single, young adults, then maybe it’s worth holding onto this crush.

Many people have a crush on a friend and they get to know them better over the years only to realize that they value their friendship too much to even try out a relationship. The person with the crush ends up crushed that they spent all this time hopeful that something more could come when nothing ever will.

If you’ve been crushing on someone for a long time and they have expressed no real interest in you, then it might be time to cut your losses and move on. Don’t feel like you did anything wrong or aren’t lovable, this person just isn’t the right one for you.

8. They aren’t a good match for you

Deep down, we can tell when something isn’t right or when someone isn’t right for us. Sometimes we don’t know right away, but over time, you can tell if a person is or isn’t a good match for you.

Maybe you have no common interest? Maybe you have different long term goals? Or maybe you just have different values and beliefs?

These things don’t mean this person isn’t a good person, it just means that this person isn’t the right one for you. There is someone out there who is walking on the same path as you and wants the same things out of life that you do. Wait for that person and you will be happy that you did instead of forcing it to work with someone you know it wont.

9. You’re trying to make them like you

If you find yourself doing things that you think they would like just so that they like you more, you are treading on dangerous territory. If you start changing to be more like what you think this person would like, then it is probably time to back up a little bit.

If your crush likes the color red, but you hate red and don’t feel you look good in it, why would you start wearing red? Or if your crush is a believer in God and you aren’t, don’t say you are because they will expect you to go to church with them.

If you do pretend to like certain things or find yourself changing so they will like you more, this is a red flag that it’s time to let go. Just imagine if you do get together and then a year later you start to reveal the truth that you don’t actually like those things that you bonded over. The truth will always come out because you can only be yourself, and the right person will love you for you, not who you think they want you to be.

10. You read a ton of articles and horoscopes about them

This is similar to the overthinking and letting your crush consume your thoughts, but if you have to read a ton of articles to find out if they like you, if they will ever ask you out or what their horoscope says about what they want in a mate, it might be time to step back a bit.

There’s nothing wrong with reading an article about them once in a while or reading horoscopes and seeing if you are compatible. The problem arises when you do this too much and start to use them to decode this person. If your search history is full of searches about whether or not they like you or if you are right for each other, then you need to stop and think about why you are searching for this so often.

If you just met them then maybe you just need to be patient and give it some time so you can actually learn about each other. If you’ve known them a while and are still asking these questions, then maybe you actually have your answer.

It’s okay to read a few articles from time to time, they can actually be really helpful, but if you realize that you are seeking theses articles and horoscopes for advice on a regular basis, especially with the same questions, you should probably take a little break from your crush.

11. You keep justifying their actions

No one is perfect but when you are crushing on someone, they can get away with a lot more than other people. If you find yourself justifying a bad action your crush did or defending them if someone points out a flaw they have, then maybe this person isn’t as good for you as you might think they are.

Another way we do this is with the little “hints” we are seeing. Maybe they make eye contact with you, flirt with you and say things that make you think they like you. But then they aren’t consistent with this and you hold on to the little sliver of hope that they do like you and you keep trying to find “signs” that they are into you. When someone likes you it’s usually pretty clear and you won’t have to look for the little things after you start getting to know them.

12. You just know

Deep down you know that if you are holding onto a little glimmer of hope that one day you might be together, it’s probably better for you to just move on. Sure, you can stay open to the possibilities that one day it could happen, but with so many people in the world and the fact that we only end up marrying one person (ideally) means that out of the millions of people we meet, the chances are that this one particular person isn’t your person. They might be and that’s why it’s good to be open to it, but there are so many other people out there and you deserve someone who wants you as much as you want them.

Trust yourself and if you feel you aren’t getting what you need from this person, allow yourself to let go and move on. Sometimes it helps to replace them with a new crush but at the end of the day the peace within yourself will provide you more comfort than any person ever could.