Share the Love!

I really didn’t mean to or even realize I was doing it, but I’ve pushed away many friends over the years. Sometimes I felt like it was them not wanting to be friends with me anymore since they weren’t calling and texting me as often. What I didn’t realize at first was, I wasn’t calling them either. I had a part in it too; friendship goes both ways.

Now when I’m bored, lonely or just need a friend, the list of people who I can call and count on has significantly dwindled. Granted, a lot of those people were never really true friends to begin with, but when I sat down and thought about it, I realized there were quite a few reasons why I’ve pushed my friends away as I’ve gotten older. I didn’t even realize it was happening, I guess it’s just a part of growing up. Here’s 7 reasons why I’ve pushed my friends away, without really meaning to.

1. To focus on my career
As I get older, I realize how important having a career really is. You spend most of your life doing this thing day after day so it’s important to actually love and enjoy it. Not to mention, the harder you work the more likely it is to pay off in the future.

I feel like if I work hard now, then maybe there will be a lot success and freedom to come in the future. If I set up a good foundation now, then I can have a really amazing career to enjoy as I get older.

2. To focus on my romantic life
No matter what your age, dating is usually a high priority. There is pressure from your friends and family who are all getting married and having babies. There’s pressure from society and worst of all, there is pressure from yourself. You might feel like you’re not good enough or not pretty enough if you’re single. You question if you’re too fat or ugly or stupid or all kinds of negative things that aren’t true at all. There is someone out there for everyone, we all know someone who we thought would never get married but now they are super happy with someone perfect for them.

Whether you’re single or in a relationship, romance is usually a priority. We all want a successful relationship and to feel loved by someone who cares about us. If you put in the work now and make the effort to make your relationship work, then it will set up a strong bond for the future.

3. So I can spend time with aging family
Parents start aging. Kids grow up too fast. Being around your family is usually a priority for many people.

Your parents are getting older too and they won’t be around forever. You can finally have adult conversations with them so take advantage of that. Gone are the days when you would fight about cleaning your room and doing chores, now you can talk about the world, money, relationships and more. Learn as much as you can from them and love them as much as you can. They deserve it.

You don’t want to miss out on seeing your kids growing up because it happens so fast. You just don’t have the time to spend with friends as much unless your friends have kids too or don’t mind doing kid friendly activities. Gone are the days of bar hopping all weekend when you become a parent. But, in all honestly, a lot of kid friendly activities can be even more fun and fulfilling.

4. Because I’ve grown out of the activities
Sometimes I’ll go visit a friend and they want to sit around and play video games every time I go over. Now I love video games, but I don’t want to play them all the time. I want to do so much more and explore the world. Not all of my friends want to do the same things I do.

So the question becomes, do you go and do the new activity that you want to try without your friend or do you just keep doing the things that they want to do? It’s a choice you must make, what do you want more?

If the friendship has reached it’s peak, no one said you have to stop being friends, but maybe you see them less. Instead of going over every weekend, go every other weekend and spend more time doing something else that you want to do. And hey, maybe your friend will have a change of heart and want to join if they see how much fun you’re having? Or maybe not.

5. Because it feels like I could be doing more with my time than just “hanging out”
I hate when I go over to someone’s house and we just “hang out”. It’s cool sometimes. It’s nice on vacation or after a long day, but I like to do something. Let’s at least have some food and drinks. Maybe watch a movie or play a game. I hate just sitting there hanging out. Let’s go somewhere, lets try something new, let’s talk about something we’ve never talked about. There are so many things to do and explore and we only have so much time to do them.

6. We’ve grown apart
As you get older your interest change. The person I am now is a lot different than the person I was ten years ago. Many of the things I liked have changed and I bet the same is true for you too. My taste in music, food, clothes, TV and books have all evolved a bit. I do like a lot of the same stuff that I used to and I’m still the same person at my core, but there’s a lot of things I have no desire to do anymore.

When both people grow up and grow apart it gets harder to find things that keep you together. If you are lacking common interest it’s harder to find things to talk about and reasons to hang out. There’s nothing wrong with it, it just happens.

7. I don’t have as much time as I used to
When you’re in high school, you get out of school around 3 pm and have the rest of the day to do whatever you want. Some people joined sports or clubs while others just hung out with their friends. You have a lot more time to just hang out when you are done with your day by 3 pm and have weekends off. Oh, and not to mention a whole 3 months called summer vacation.

Even college gives you plenty of time for friends in between classes. Sometimes you have an hour break or so and you’re encouraged to live on campus and go to activities. There’s summer, spring and winter breaks. You usually just work part time which allows you time to go out with friends. You have so much more time.

Plus, when you’re young you just have so much more energy than you do as you get older. You can stay out until 2 am and get up for class in the morning with no problems. It’s a lot harder ten years later. Adults are tired. Work days are a lot longer than school days. You have more responsibility. You simply just don’t have as much time for friends as you used it. There are other things that are more important and that’s just a part of growing up.