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Everyone goes through times when something happens that is out of their control. Many things that happen in life and there is nothing we can do about it sometimes. Sometimes yes, there is definitely something we can do and we should do. But other times it’s the complete opposite and it’s best to let it go and move on.

The easier it is to identify which situations can be influenced and which are completely out of your hands the less you will stress about situations you shouldn’t. There are a lot of things that happen all the time like bad weather, job loss, rude people or even death that we really have no control over and it’s a waste of time and energy for us to think that we do. The sooner you identify the situations you can and can’t control the easier it will be for you to let it go and move on.

How do you know when something is out of your control? Look for these 5 signs.

 

 

1. The main person involved isn’t you
Situations involving other people are usually out of your control because the only person you have any say over is you. Sure, you have your kids and you do have a certain amount of control over their lives, but at the end of the day, they are still their own person and make their own choices.

If someone you love is going though a tough time the only thing you can really do is be there for them if they need you. Giving them unwanted advice or butting into their lives usually doesn’t make things much better.

If you are forced to be around someone you hate, you can try your best to avoid them, but you will probably have to deal with them eventually and you’ll need to be prepared for when you do.

Realize the only thing you have any say over is you and your reaction to the situation.

 

 

2. You feel like you’ve done everything
If you have tried everything that you can think of to change the situation but nothing works, maybe it’s time to stop. Maybe you have to accept that it’s out of your control and just go with it. Sometimes you try and try and try but there comes a point where sometimes you are trying to do something that just isn’t meant to happen.

Don’t waste your time trying the same things over and over again. Maybe try a couple more approaches until you feel you’ve tried everything, and then let it go. You gave it you’re best effort and that’s all you can do.

 

 

3. You feel there is nothing you can do
Maybe instead of feeling that you’ve done it all, you feel like there is nothing you can do. Sometimes this is absolutely true. If there is a major change at work or you get laid off, there really isn’t anything you can do about it. You can try to fight it, but sometimes there is no point and it’s better to just accept it.

You are allowed to be angry or upset for a little while, but make sure you don’t let your negative feelings get the best of you. If there is nothing you can do about it, just accept the situation as soon as you can and move on. There is probably something way better out there for you anyway or maybe there is something you can learn from the situation. Try to find the positive.

 

 

4. You worry constantly
When tend to worry more when things happen that we can’t control. When we have control over the situation, we can do something to make it better and then we can’t stop worrying as much. When we don’t have as much control, we tend to overthink the possibilities and what could happen and sometimes we drive ourselves a little crazy doing it.

If you find yourself constantly thinking and worrying about a particular situation, it’s probably because you feel you lack a sense of control over it. If there is something you feel you can do or should do that would help you stop worrying, maybe it’s a good idea to do it so that feeling doesn’t turn into guilt later on. If there isn’t anything that you feel you should do then maybe what you need to do is let it go and just be prepared for what may come. There’ s no point in worrying when there isn’t anything you can do about it.

 

 

5. You just know
Sometimes you just know that the situation is out of your hands. The better you know yourself the easier it will be to tell if a situation is within your control or not. There are a lot of things in life, in fact some argue most things, that we have no or limited control over. The only thing we have control over if ourselves. The better we know ourselves the easier it will be to identify how we can influence a situation and maybe change it a bit.

If you and your spouse have been fighting then you can look at yourself and see what you can do differently like being nicer or being more aware of their feelings. But sometimes, no matter what you do, your spouse is still going to do the things that bother you or you will do things that bother them and there isn’t anything you can do to change each other. Sure you can get a new spouse, but is that worth it? Maybe you should just accept that they are the way they are and deal with it. Only you know the answer to that.