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Feeling guilty about something can really bring you down and make life feel like you have a cloud following you around.

Some guilt is caused by something that you feel bad about that you did in the past. It could also be from something you didn’t do and should have. Sometimes you might even be feeling guilty for something that wasn’t even your fault.

There are different levels of guilt and sometimes it’s harder to let go of depending on the situation. You might always think about what could have been, but the key is to deal with it and then let it go and move on. It’s easier said than done, but here are some ways to help you stop feeling so guilty.

 

1. Do something about it if you can
If you feel guilty about something that you can fix or improve, do something to improve it or fix it. There are many little things you can do to improve a situation.

Are you not spending enough time with your kids? Do something easy like schedule a weekly game night so you get some guaranteed time. Or maybe a big action is needed that you’ve been thinking about for a while.

Once you do something about it, you will actually feel better and less guilty about the situation and sometimes all it takes is just a small action that can make a big difference.

 

2. Forgive yourself
Everyone makes mistakes and in order to stop feeling so guilty about the situation you need to forgive yourself. No one is perfect and the biggest thing is that you learn from your mistakes. Sometimes you just didn’t know any better. As Maya Angelou said,

“When you know better, you do better.”

Once you forgive yourself for what happened or didn’t happen, you will feel a weight lifted off of you. You’ll stop beating yourself up about something you did in the past and be able to look towards the future easier.

 

3. Stop thinking about things you can’t change
Sometimes when you feel guilty about something you’ll think about it constantly. By doing this it usually makes you feel worse about the situation. Whatever happened in the past can’t be changed. Overthinking it will just make things worse.

Many people do this when someone dies. They will think,

“If only I had just ….. been there a few minutes earlier, forced him to go to the doctor sooner, called her more often.”

There are so many “what ifs” we can beat ourselves up about but the truth is it’s in the past and nothing is changing that. There’s no real point in spending your time making yourself feel bad about something you can’t change.

 

4. Realize guilt can be both healthy and unhealthy
Feeling guilty is mostly a negative emotion, but it can be used in a healthy way. If you are feeling guilt about something, it’s probably because you think the situation could have ended up differently and maybe there’s something that you could have done or not done.

Use it to realize mistakes that were made or just were things could have been done a different way. Use it to learn and do things differently next time.

However,if you spend all day feeling guilty about something that is when it becomes unhealthy. You end up beating yourself up about it or thinking of tons of scenarios that could have happened. This makes you feel even worse than you already do about everything. Why keep thinking about things that make you feel bad?

The best way to use guilt is to feel it, realize why you are feeling it, learn from it, and let it go.

 

5. Learn from it
One of the best things you can do with guilt is learn from it. If you feel like you should have done something differently, well then next time do it differently. If it still doesn’t work out the way you hoped, don’t get down, just try another way until you get it right.

If you feel guilty about something take a moment to examine why you feel that way. What could you have done or not done? What can you do differently next time?

The best way to make guilt a useful emotion is to find something to learn from it.

 

6. Let it go
After you’ve examined why you are feeling guilty and learned from it, then you have to let the negative feelings go. You have to stop thinking about it over and over and over again.

Realize you did what you could and forgive yourself. Allow yourself to truly let go of the emotions that come with guilt. Realize that it’s okay to feel happy again, in fact you deserve to feel happy.

 

7. Move on with your life
This can be a hard one but when the time is right it’s a necessary one. Especially if you feel guilty over something you can’t change like a death or something that happened in the past, it’s part of being healthy to deal with it and then move on.

After you have done whatever you need to do to deal with your guilt, then it’s time to start living again. Many times when people feel guilty they don’t go out much, do fun things, or even take good care of themselves. They might not feel they deserve it or maybe are depressed. There are many possibilities but once you overcome the obstacles you can move on with your life and start living a good and happy life.