Around the ages of 25-35 most young people will feel like life isn’t quite turning out the way they expected and start to freak out. This is called a quarter life crisis. It looks different for everyone. You could feel stuck in your career, relationship, or just life in general. Usually many people feel that they need to make a big change in their lives. Whatever it is for you, here are a few steps to help you get through your quarter life crisis.
1. Go easy on yourself
The first step is to realize that pretty much everyone goes though some kind of life crisis at some point. Nothing is wrong with you, it’s just life doesn’t always turn out the way you planned or expected. And to be honest, that’s not always such a bad thing. Sometimes we think we want something and when we get it and we realize that we didn’t really want it after all.
Don’t be too hard on yourself. Think of all that you have achieved over the years. I’m sure there are plenty of things for you to be proud of.
2. Make a list
Take a few hours and write out a pro and con list of what you like and don’t like about your life. See if there is a common theme to the items you don’t like. This can help you identify what kind of change can help you improve your life. If a lot of your cons revolve around your job or health then maybe it’s time for a change there?
Look at the pros too. What is working in your life? Be grateful for what you have and proud of yourself for achieving those things. This can also help you to realize what your strengths are what you should probably focus on more often.
3. Write down your goals
Now that you’ve looked at the pros and cons of your life, write down some goals that you want to achieve. No matter how big your goal is write it down. Honestly, you still can achieve your goals. It may take some hard work and dedication but if you really want something it’s definitely possible.
Find one or two goals that really make your heart happy. See if achieving one of these goals would change your life for the better and re-energize you. Now look at the pro and cons list. Which goal seems like it will eliminate the most cons? This is probably something you need to do.
4. Get off Facebook
Facebook and social media has a way of making all your friend’s lives seem great. It seems like everyone is getting married, promoted, moving to a new city or having babies while you are, well, doing exactly what you were doing last year. That’s okay though, all that really matters is that you are improving yourself. If you are a better person this year than you were last year then you’ve made progress. Everyone is living a different story and you don’t know what’s really going on in their world. Just because someone looks happy on social media doesn’t mean they actually are.
5. Realize your job really isn’t that bad
Yeah, it’s not the job you imagined in college but you make decent money, your coworkers are cool, and you have good benefits. Is that really worth leaving behind so you can purse the possibility of a new career?
Sometimes the answer is absolutely yes. If you’re not happy and you wake up every morning dreading your day then yes, you probably should look into a career change. Or if you get an opportunity to live your dream and pursue your dream job, take it. You spend a huge amount of your time working so you should definitely enjoy what you do.
But if you like your job and it pays well, maybe you should pursue your passions during your spare time? You can still be a writer or musician part time. After work come home and work on your passion. Spend a couple hours on the weekends practicing. You can even make some money a lot of the time. And if your income doing what you love starts to surpass your income at your job, well then it’s a no brainer to quit your job. Until then, realize that your job isn’t that bad.
6. Connect with people
Yes you feel lost, disconnected, like your not making the most of your life, but you know what? Lots of other people feel that way too. Talk to some of your friends from high school or college. You’ll realize that many of them feel the same way you do. Remember the idealistic conversations you had when you were in school? Well I bet a lot of those things you planned didn’t actually happen. That’s okay though, many of them probably still could happen and you’ll have someone to share your fears, hopes and dreams with.
Also connect with family members that are older than you because they’ve been there before. They were in your shoes once and can give you valuable advice. Plus if they know you well, they might be able to guide you in a good direction.
7. Make a change
The best way to solve a quarter life crisis is to make a change. Whatever that change is for you, find a way to make it happen. Move to a new city, get a new job, leave that relationship, finally lose the weight; whatever it is you need to make your life better, do it. Don’t let anything stop you. Make sure this change is something doable so you stick with it and ease into it so it will be more likely to stick. Remember, anything is possible.